The 2014 Faux Queen Pageant was completely AH-MAZING!
San Francisco put on all its best qualities for us over the weekend as we descended on the queer city for the annual Faux Queen Pageant presented by Bea Dazzler.
As is now the custom, The Spangled Emperor and I tried to give Bea Dazzler some last minute support with the show, and ran a few errands for her the morning of. The most important of which was finding a vegan apple pie. Not an easy assignment! The rest of the day was a mad rush to show time.
We started at the theatre with some rehearsals, because one of my back up dancers was the current reigning Mr Drag King 2014, and I was only meeting her that day. We taught Maddog 20/20 the number in 2 hours and felt confident for the final performance. Then it was time for make-up, tech runs, attaching hair extensions and getting into costume.
When the doors opened, much of San Francisco’s drag community who support Faux Queens came pouring through. While the audience where getting settled, special selections from WerqSF played on the big screen. This was such a huge thrill for me, to see my work displayed in that context. I hope that everyone enjoyed what they saw and will take the time to watch more episodes here on Agorafauxbia.com. Make sure you take the audience survey to go into the draw to win a $25 prepaid visa debit card. CLICK HERE FOR THE SURVEY
I could feel tension rising backstage as we waited in anticipation for everyone to take their seats and begin the show. Bea Dazzler had scheduled me to be first on stage, mostly because she knew I wasn’t worried about winning. Traditionally the queen who performs first never places in the top three, but I was about to smash that curse into oblivion.
I stumbled on stage for my catwalk couture number, sporting classic Baltimore leopard print from my local thrift store. The fabulous MC’s read this introduction:
“She’s the blunder from down under and the shrimp on your barbie… Last year you knew
her as “that one from Australia”, but now Agorafauxbia lives in North East USA. Like Obama, Washington DC is her temporary home until we kick her out. A fashion victim from way back, Agorafauxbia is sporting classic Baltimore leopard print by Value Village, Silver Spring Maryland. Paired with old hair extensions saved from the trash and steamed back to life, she is a true dime store diamond. “
Through the curtain I watched all the others take the stage for their couture number. I was wholeheartedly impressed by the incredible costuming of all the faux queens. My favourite item was Alabama Slammer’s fingernails which looked like 3 inch skewers duct taped to her fingers. So very fierce!
Before I knew, it was time for my inspired talent number: “Fashion Faux War..ds”, a spectacular Star Wars parody devised by me and The Spangled Emperor.
It was a total hit! My initial idea had been to do a number about thrifting because I personally am struggling with finances, and have very little money for fashion. However, it was The Spangled Emperor who reminded me that the people of San Francisco are having a very rough go of it as the tech giants move in and displace those who have lived in the Bay Area much of their lives. We devised a number which tried to draw on some of the oppression felt by the drag community in San Francisco due to the recession and rise of the tech companies.
Going first is great if you want to see the rest of the numbers! I milled around watching everyone else perform and even tried to hussle some extra tips out of the audience.
I’m going to write another post about the other contestants and their awesome talent numbers, but right now I’m too excited about what happened in the winner’s circle crowning section!
Yes friends! I placed 2nd runner up and they gave me a crown and sash like a real pageant queen! I don’t think I have ever been so excited in my entire life! When they called my name I quickly glanced to the back of the audience to see The Spangled Emperor jumping up and down and screaming.
So congratulations to me! Hooray!
Also congratulations to first runner up Hazzard Strange, of whom I am a huge huge fan. And of course this year’s winner Miss Faux Queen 2014 Linty! Because I was only in town for such a short amount of time I didn’t get a chance to get to know Linty, and only met her briefly in the hallway of Bea Dazzler’s apartment and fleeting moments at the Faux Queen Pageant. Her number was pretty damn spectacular with more costume changes than I ever thought possible.
Finally, I must say that Cara Couture’s step down number was one of the most beautiful pieces of performance I have ever seen. This lady is an incredibly talented make-up artist and I would fly across the country to attend a master class if she ran one.
There are many more fauxtos and stories to come in the next week or so. Stay Tuned!